Game of Thrones, S6E1 "The Red Woman"

This post is for people who have seen the Game of Thrones Season 6 premiere, "The Red Woman".

Game of Thrones is back: a show with a convoluted mythology, adapted from an unfinished book series, stuffed with the most jaded theories on power and human connection that you might ever encounter. Of course a devoted fan of Harry Hardiner is going to be excited to hear that theme music after months of dead time—and of course, now that the show has officially left its book series in the dust (catch up, George RR, or disappear in a flash of light like a respectable author!), anyone who has attempted the Tenth Book Contest will feel a certain cameraderie with the writers of the HBO adaptation.

To write my Tenth Book The Furnace (currently under contract with Presse Algerienne), it was important to consider everything which Harry Hardiner had written in the first nine Rosewire books, to keep in mind everything I knew about the author and his choices, and to research as completely as possible all the extant theories before marrying that information to my own particular framework. Of course, the Game of Thrones writers have a distinct advantage: they can ask—have asked!—Martin exactly how his Song of Ice and Fire ends, and they have had him as a resource to check that their selection of detail for the show is building appropriately to climax.

All that to say, for someone who's finished an unfinished series, this season of Game of Thrones is a veritable dream come true. All that practice I've had with Rosewire had me acutely tracking earlier seasons' departures from the books (maybe in a future post, we can talk about GoT and the law of dramatic economy), and this season, without a novel to use as guiderails, has me calculating the converging trajectories of the show and the book series to figure out what characters and storylines are critical to the close, and which ones are mummer's dragons.

So after last year's finale and the dozens of questions it raised, I tuned in last Sunday ready for some exciting answers. Ready for the story to leap forward! The HBO showrunners have said they're locked into seven seasons—so that's two dozen episodes left to wrap up all these storylines? Well, "The Red Woman" had to light that rocket.

Suffice it to say, we didn't quite reach ignition. This episode is a little more like moving the rocket to the launch site. None of our questions from finale "Mother's Mercy" were answered—they were just raised again.

Now, before we get too much further into this, let me just say I don't think this is representative of a lack of skills. In fact, I can think of a couple of reasons why this episode should do this:

1) The writers do have to establish a new launch point for themselves, something they've created wholecloth, something not pulled directly from a novel, in order to set off in the right direction to complete the series their way.

2)  In a lot of ways, this episode serves as a sort of "last season on Game of Thrones", but with the addition of some forward momentum. True, it's a little unfortunate that we don't head into the meat of this season right off the bat, but like any introduction, this premiere gave us a good overview of what will be at stake this season. Of course, in some slightly pernicious ways, this same convention might serve as a slew of red herrings. We have no mention of the Children, the Citadel, the Iron Islands, armies of the dead, Littlefinger, Bronn, or trial by combat; we get only fleeting glances at the Sons of the Harpy, greyscale, Stannis, and the Wildlings. There is, assumedly, a lot of information in this season that we have not been exposed to yet. Bran's magic is a game-changer, but if Euron Crow's Eye shows up with a dragon's horn, that could throw us for an even bigger loop. The elements we have not seen yet may prove to be the most important aspects of this leg of the journey, and a "last time on" episode may be the writers' way of saying, "You think all that was gripping? Well, that was just the set-up."

3)  My primary theory right now revolves around the way action is presented in the show. Now, in the books, we are more or less well-aware that the story chapter-to-chapter is not taking place in strict chronological order: at the end of one chapter, you might be looking at a battle that will not take place for weeks in the next chapter. The show, out of necessity I believe, approaches the story as though each scene is more or less occurring at the same time in the worlds of Westeros and Essos. So yes, we might see Jamie sailing back into King's Landing with Myrcella in tow, but we accept that the voyage from Dorne might take about an afternoon—after all, Sansa and Theon have just left sight of Winterfell. If this season had leapt forward to some of the most critical action teased in last season's finale, we may have seen a jump in weeks or months. Cersei's trial by combat, Sam making his way to Oldtown, Sansa rejoining Brienne and Pod: none of these things required an 'origin story' in this episode (the situations are already well-developed), but ONE storyline DOES need to pick up exactly where it left off: Jon Snow. Yes, Jon Snow is still dead—but anyone who believes he'll stay that way is sorely fooling themselves. With the Red Woman pulling back into Castle Black just in time to work a miracle (and corpse-raising night fast approaching with or without her help), we know something of a resurrection is afoot.

That last theory brings me to why this episode could disappointment: if the primary purpose of this "let's get caught up together" episode was to allow for Jon Snow's revival, then we should have gotten into the business of it right away. Otherwise, a lot of this episode was treading water:

Jon Snow is still dead. Davos and Edd blah blah blah. The Red Woman is there.

Ramsey and his dad are pissed, but Sansa got away with the help of a small giantess.

Cersei's daughter is still dead. Did we miss the trial? No one seems concerned about it...

Queen Redux is stuck in Septa Unella's Reprise.

Dorne is for lovers. With uteruses.

Like all benevolent leaders, Tyrion is having trouble speaking the language of his city.

Daario and Jorah make the worst buddy movie.

Yes, Dothraki morning show. Yes, Dothraki Golden Girls?

Arya and Stick.

Dude Bro Crow will end you haters.

The Red Woman is still there. All there.

Tonight's episode will really test the skills of our writers: how will we decide to proceed? Draw out the inevitable? Or keep heading straight through without deviation or time hops? How will they bring Bran, Sam, and the Greyjoys back in? What will Jon Snow mach II look like, and how will he behave? What on earth was the point of showing us Melisandre looking like she just climbed out of the bathtub in Room 237? Or, for that matter, Cersei telling Jamie about the witch's prophecy? We'd better see some Ramsey payoff, too, or that uncharacteristic moment of mourning over the kennelkeeper's daughter was shoehorned in to make a monster human rather than more wrathful.

Just a few things I'd like to see in the remaining episodes of Season 6:

—In the books, Bran's connection to the roots of Westeros gives him a crow's eye view of history: it would be great to watch some 'history', but what would be really great would be to watch Bran influence that history and guide the intrigue of Westeros towards the defeat of the Night's King. No flashbacks—all action!

—Some of the history I'd love for us to play witness to? Rhaegar stealing Lysa Stark, the settlement of the First Men, the creation of the Night's King, the construction of the Wall, the Doom of Valyria (or at least its effects, one continent over), and, why not, a little peek at the establishment of the Citadel against the predations of magic.

—Speaking of Bran, wherever did Rickon and Asha get off to? Surely the young noble who wrote to the Boltons that they only recognize the King in the North whose name is Stark has taken them in... right? Where were they? Bear Island?

—The magical horn that Euron brings to the Kingsmoot in the books could potentially wake dragons or even bring down the Wall. With what we know lurks behind that Wall, that seems like a ludicrously bad idea... and one that a trickster and power-player like Euron could try to use to his flamboyant advantage.

—Will the Hound be found at a distant monastery, recovering from combat, ready to avenge himself against his frankenbrother and the Lannisters in a WWE-style throwdown?

—Can the Dornish march on King's Landing without a Targaryan? In the books, the children that Tywin Lannister killed and passed off as Dany's brother and sister may have been decoys like the farmer's children that Theon burned at Winterfell—and a young man raised as a Targaryan is on his way to Dorne carrying a dragon banner, ready to sweep towards the capital to take down Cersei and her son.

—For that matter, how long can Tommen possibly last now that his siblings are wrapped in golden shrouds?

—Something terrible has happened to Loras Tyrell. Right? Just look at how gay men have historically fared in Game of Thrones. I'm waiting for an apple-of-Sodom situation or something of similar ghastliness.

—Arya is going to join an acting troupe. I can't wait to see how she uses those skills in her journey. Plus: we get to see how they make theatre in Essos!

—The Citadel in the books is chock-full of mystery and elliptical details: Faceless Men, glass candles, rogue maesters, a cross-dressing Sand Snake, and Hogwarts-level student rivalry. If Sam meets a Sphinx in his first foray into Old Town, we'll be in for a nice, hot ride.

—If Jon is indeed part Targaryan, who on earth is going to make the connection?

—Okay, okay, okay: and when Jon is brought back to fight, who will be pulling his strings? The Red Woman and her god R'hllor? Bran and the Children? The ancient Night's King? Another force entirely that the people of Westeros and Essos haven't yet encountered, or perhaps have forgotten after centuries of propaganda?

Can tonight's episode satisfy the demands of its story arc?

We'll see in a few hours.

Just a few other hiccups from "The Red Woman":

—Tyrion walks around Mereen talking about how everyone wants to kill everyone, unable to speak the language, and accompanied by ZERO guards. Don't worry, though! Varys is there!

—Seriously: we CAN look forward to a Dothraki Estelle Getty, right? Especially after our Dothraki listicle...

—Dany lived around the Dothraki for months or years and never heard of the Dosh Khaleen? When she was married to a khal? It never got brought up once Khal Drogo died, despite being a cornerstone of the Dothraki culture?

—The Red Woman did absolutely nothing in an episode that was named for her. She took off a necklace and got into bed. Be kinder to her, writers!

—Septa Unella is the worst. So much so that the High Sparrow feels the need to acknowledge it?

—Daario has never been terribly interesting. Far less so now that he and Jorah are far away from Mereen, Dany, and now a fast-approaching kingsmoot. Can we give him a job?

—Dorne is hard to swallow all around. Here's hoping that this coup bears narrative fruit sooner rather than later, or it will continue to feel as shoehorned in as it does in the books. Hey! At least Myrcella is dead instead of just embarrassed to show her face!